Lesson 2: How to not become a crazy hoarder

When I moved into my new classroom, I could have cried.

The space - amazing
The display areas - generous
The bookcase - hmm
The stock cupboard - something out of a channel 5 programme. The one where they drag a lovely, in denial person out of their home and proceed to tell them that their home is full of utter shit and is a health hazard.

I have never been one for hoarding. When I moved into my new house, I spent 3 car journeys transporting my worldly belongings across, slightly hyperventilating about the amount of 'stuff' I had. Before looking at my teaching resources.

Looking into my stock cupboard however, I could have cried. I know, I know. We might NEED this old stack of atlases from 1983, where at least 80% of the countries are probably the same! We saved these old worksheets from 1999 because they were so useful when that strategy was published - they might come in useful. I could have taken a blow torch to the lot and claimed ignorance, but working in a school where most of the support staff had been there for the best part of three decades meant that I would have probably been hunted down.

After trying to justify myself to at least six different members of staff (none of whom were teaching my year group), I became selfish. I got the bin liners out. And I pillaged, ripped, binned, sorted, and cleaned until my hands were black with dust and dirt, and my lungs were coughing up a grey sort of phlegm. Sexy.

18 - yes, 18 - bin liners later, I felt better. There is a culture, especially amongst teachers, where you need to save everything. But when does saving become hoarding?

Essentially, I believe that it is when you have not used something for at least one year. It is holding it's place like an old chair in the staffroom, with a rip in the fabric and a nice dip which has caressed the bottoms of decades of teachers, but could not possibly be thrown away as, you guessed it, it can still be used.

Now, before you think, Christ, she obviously does not have any idea what is coming in the next few years, she should save everything, let me share my go to guide before anything is actually thrown out:
1) Is it older than me? Yes? Bin.
2) Has it been used by anyone as part of a lesson effectively within the last 3 years? No? Bin.
3) Is it relevant to the new curriculum? No? Bin.
4) Does it still work? No? Bin.
5) If, when taking out of the cupboard, children scream with delight, put it back (I'm talking wet play board games/cards etc - easy enough to sort with some of your willing students).
6) Is it a collection of worksheets that you have never seen before which have been copied out of a book from 1980? Yes? Bin.
7) Do you know what it is? No? Bin.
8) Is it laminated, and could be used as part of a display/lesson (maths/French resources, I am looking at you)? Keep.

And so on.

I threw out broken baskets, boxes of used worksheets from 6 years ago, copies of old worksheets from old strategies, broken pencils (actually boxes and boxes of old pencils with an average of 3 inch length)... You get the picture.

I, of course, kept books (send them down to the library - books are meant to be read, not stored away from sunlight for all eternity), whiteboards, usable stationary, and anything that I seriously believed that my TA would notice and tell me off for throwing. In the end, I had a clean cupboard, with space for actual things that we would need and use, as well as restocking the numeracy cupboard, the science cupboard, and the gardening cupboard (if anyone wants to tell me why we had 12 gardening forks and shovels when we don't do any gardening past KS1 in school, come and find me).

Clear cupboard, clear mind.

You see so may blogs about how to 'recycle' old bottle tops into a chair, or saving these old pieces of ratty cardboard because they could be used to make name plates, or a fun game. Fair enough, I say. If you have got the time and energy to spend your weekends trawling through the, let's face it, rubbish in your house, then good for you. There is definitely a place to use things like this, but as for storing them for all of time just because... well, that's not a good thing.

Lesson 1: How to not spend all of your money on crap glue sticks

Ahh, payday!

The day of sweet satisfaction that means that the hours that you have put in, driving to school in the dark, marking books until you yourself can no longer spell, and wiping perfect circles of snot off of your leg, have come to present you with the perfect gift! Money!

Now, most teachers I know are of the mind that they would teach for free. I know that if there was a Sugar-Daddy (Sugar-Teacher-Daddy?) who only wanted the youth of today to learn, and in exchange he would pay all of my bills, and that car insurance, and everything else that comes with having a real life job, I would probably jump at it. Exchange for teaching children being the operative phrase here. However, being that there is no one kind enough to do so, here we are. My bank account is shining with green, and all is good with the world.

Off I trot to do my usual weekend shopping, and lo and behold, Heaven on Earth!

The craft aisle. The aisle of stickers, and funky paper, and highlighters, and other bits of crap that I could definitely use and definitely need for my class, and oh my good god, look at this box of PIPECLEANERS!

Now, don't get me wrong. In my two years of working as a 'real' teacher (no more weekly meetings about coursework), I have been fortunate enough to work at schools with fairly good resources. There were cupboards with pens, boxes of new glue sticks (For Key Stage 2 ONLY!!!), and generally a good selection of backing paper and boarders. Reading some blogs by fellow teachers in the US, my heart breaks a little about how much they have to spend on decorating their classrooms using their own money. So why is it that when you teach, you have a tendency to spend so much money on 'teaching resources'? (Code: utter crap which will last 2 weeks in the classroom - gluesticks, I'm looking at you!).

It is a huge problem for me to go into a shop and not stop on the stationary aisle. I am yet to encounter one teacher who can breeze through without slipping a few gluesticks or stickers into their basket. Wow! I think, eyeing up the multipacks of colouring pencils, these would be great on my desk as 'emergency' pencils. Or 'special' pencils. Or 'reward' pencils... No! Stop yourself!

Look, we all love new stationary. We all love that sometimes you need to buy gluesticks and new pens, and there is such a great new smell, and all is wonderful.. But you work hard for your money. You work bloody hard! I know colleagues who have sat and cried at their desks, and then have sent themselves home to work and cry some more. But listen - it is YOUR money! Schools have these amazing things called 'budgets'. I know, I know! Pah, I hear you exclaim, There is no money in the budget for stationary! The Head gives out one gluestick a term per class and that is the way it is!

I hear you. Except, remember, your school has a responsibility to cater for all children and their education. If they cannot provide adequate resources then they are not allocating the funds properly. You need to have a discussion with someone on the SLT and tell them that you don't have enough resources, or you need something. Let's be honest, a couple of glue sticks is going to make more of a dent in your pocket than in your (considerably larger) school's pocket. Be honest, explain what you need, and why, and smile lots. This overstretched smile/laugh combo (think going for an interview enthusiasm) has an average success of 8/10.

You work hard and you give so much of yourself to the children every day. It is tempting to buy them whatever you see on offer, but think about it. I wasted a whole lot of money in my first year of teaching buying 'essentials', when really, I found most of what I needed in school (albeit hidden in someone else's stock cupboard).

And for when you have hit one of those failings requesting resources, skip off to the Receptionist's office. Make friends there and you'll have whiteboard pens for life!

Just as an introduction...

When I think of teachers, I think of the two categories highlighted in Roald Dahl's 'Matilda'. Firstly, there is the wonderful Miss Honey.

Full of smiles and care, with an empathetic glance at every child, and a nurturing teaching style which puts today's teachers against high competition. Clearly Miss Honey did not work in a low social-economic area, and her only fear was our next comparison: Miss Trunchbull.

Miss Trunchbull is the villain we all loathe - from her stout posture to her blatant disregard for the needs of the children in her school, she marches around school putting the fear into every child, or teacher, she encounters. When I grow up, I thought wistfully, aged 10, reading my battered copy for the umpteenth time, I am going to be just like Miss Honey! And so, the dream was dreamt, the seed was planted, etc, etc..

14 years later however, as I look at the pile of books wedged between the piles of reports, levels, assessments and sheets that need sticking in god-knows -where, I feel slightly less like Miss Honey and a lot more like Miss Trunchbull. Dear GOD!!!! I moan to no one in particular as my Growing Green highlighter is whipped out, I sat with you to do this! I LITERALLY SAT NEXT TO YOU TO DO THIS!! Why have you not understood? And therein lies the problem.

I love teaching. I do. I wake up on a morning in September and skip to my bathroom, singing like Snow White to all of the spiders behind my toilet, jump in my car, drive 40 minutes, and get myself to school for 7:30am. Everything is prepared, my classroom is beautiful, the world is good. Come on in children, Wow, love the haircut, looking nice and smart this morning, brilliant, get those bookbags away and have a look at your morning work...tralalalala! The children are excited, the lessons are good, and the day goes quickly. I am home by 5:40pm, just in time to cook some dinner and mark the first pieces of work.

By October, I could cry when my alarm goes off. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TEACHING! I love working with children, I love the look on a child's face when they finally understand something that you have worked for weeks on. I love it. I honestly don't know of another career where this level of gratification is so profound. Apart from maybe being a nurse or a doctor, but I digress. But, it is not the teaching that is hard. I could teach for days, weeks, months, years, without having a break. I am talking about the stress of teaching. Oh, here she goes! I hear you sigh.

I know I'm not the first. By now, I'm probably not even in the first 100,000! But teaching is great. That is the main message of this. Not Teaching is shit and everyone who says otherwise is a great big fat liar, and that includes you who thinks that we work 9am-3pm! Don't you know anything?! It's not! It is fab and I am so lucky!

But this is a place to rant, rave, laugh, and (hopefully not) cry over what it really means to work in the public sector, with children, families, councils, social services, child services, and perhaps most importantly, colleagues.

My opinions are mine, and if you don't share the same experiences, that's fine. I hope you enjoy!

Love and kisses,
Not Just A Teacher xx